Greetings and salutations…
On an episode of Seinfeld, Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer tried to remember where they parked in a mall garage. Jerry, and then later George, had to relieve themselves and sheepishly found a dark corner in the garage for a piddle, where both got busted.
That’s so 90s!
On my sushi run yesterday, an homeless man un-roofed individual stood outside on Ventura Boulevard with his back to the stores and his pants fully dropped to his ankles double-fisting it with a stream, presumably of urine, akin to the Gateway Arch in St. Louis that reached across the sidewalk, landing just short of the gutter, but impressively covering most of the sidewalk.
I say, let it fly, baby!
First, this is not as bad as the guy who regularly dropped a duke by the bagel place down the street, making national headlines when Nithya Raman, Los Angeles City Councilmember for this area, became angered at a constituent for complaining that the man threw a bag of his saucy fecal output at him.
Second, this is the new neighborhood norm, now that Raman won another four years in office.
So stop complaining.
Right now.
Stop.
Whether Raman’s win was a mandate for more of the same depends on who you ask, so let us look at the numbers.
A win is a win, but to demonstrate how razor thin this one was, consider this. There were 64,038 votes cast as of this morning, meaning that any candidate who could get half of them (32,019) plus one more vote, for a total of 32,020, wins the job without going to a runoff in November.
Raman got that and just 410 votes more, for a .64% margin of victory, with an unknown number of uncounted ballots remaining. But so few votes remain that her opponent, deputy city attorney Ethan Weaver, threw in the towel yesterday.
Not exactly a mandate, but it will be championed as one, including by the mathematically challenged:
For the record, sis, the margin of victory is against the vote total, not against the next candidate’s total. Otherwise, it would only take a plurality to win.
These outcomes matter across the city because all Councilmembers vote on issues that impact all 15 districts.
Raman’s win is razor-thin, as further evidenced by the fact that more than 49% of the votes cast went to someone other than her, the incumbent. That’s as much of a caveat to her as it is to those who didn’t vote: The choice to remedy conditions in your neighborhood rests solely with you.
In fairness, Raman won despite a gerrymandered district with powerful, monied interests backing Weaver, who had virtually zero name recognition among the not-politically-engaged people of this neighborhood. Weaver was not seen knocking doors and more than a few people told me that their efforts to help his campaign went unanswered. Same re: my efforts to get answers to questions from his campaign.
It was a classic case of Weaver wanting to be pursued, rather than going out and winning the job. That’s what Raman did.
She won it.
By the by, you’re probably mispronouncing gerrymandering.
So, to this district’s roofed and un-roofed individuals alike, let it fly, baby! The LAPD doesn’t respond to impaired drivers or trespassers in stairwells or garages, assuming you can even get through to them, so relieving yourself in public, whether it’s an uno or dos, is no biggie around here.
Maybe I’ll join you someday.
So congratulations, Nithya Raman! Here’s to your hopefully recognizing what 50.64% does, and does not, mean.
Also, a tip of the hat to the Democratic Socialists of America - LA, which endorsed Raman in both campaigns in exchange for her agreement to “co-govern” and advance its agenda, clearly affirming the socialist movement’s success in LA. With embattled Councilmember Kevin de León likely going to a runoff against Ysabel Jurado in November, they’re just getting started.
If Jurado wins, more than 25% of LA City Council will be co-governed by the un-elected DSA.
So stop complaining if this is a problem for you, but you didn’t vote.
I’ll be on 790-KABC at 5pm this afternoon, hanging with Randy Wang, whose new show, News Blitz With Randy Wang, keeps you informed on super local takes, including City Hall corruption, elections and the best sound drops on the radio dial.
(Daniel Guss, MBA, is a multi-award-winning journalist. In June ‘23, he won the LA Press Club’s “Online Journalist of the Year” and “Best Activism Journalism” awards. He has been City Editor for the Mayor Sam network, and a featured contributor for CityWatchLA, KFI AM-640, iHeartMedia, 790-KABC, Cumulus Media, KCRW 89.9 FM, KRLA 870 AM, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Daily News, Los Angeles Magazine, Movieline Magazine, Emmy Magazine, Los Angeles Business Journal, Pasadena Star-News, Los Angeles Downtown News and the Los Angeles Times in its sports, opinion, entertainment and Sunday Magazine sections among other publishers.)