"My Semi-Serious Plan To Save City Hall Millions" by Daniel Guss
What is 23-1097 and how our criminally adjacent politicians should honor my trying to kill it
@TheGussReport on Twitter — Los Angeles City Hall has for years developed a well-deserved reputation for corruption, conspiracy, racism, retaliation and failure. It isn’t casting aspersions if demonstrably true, as evidenced by even the White House calling for some LA politicians to resign.
City Hall and its tentacles are now so disoriented that even a superficial stab at transparency oozes insincerity from its pores, like on Friday, when two committees of Councilmembers teamed-up to demonstrate their insularity and detachment.
Say hello to LA City Council File 23-1097, courtesy of the mind-numbing combination of the Ad Hoc Committee on City Governance Reform and the Rules, Elections and Intergovernmental Relations Committee.
Since our politicians love to saturate themselves in acronyms, let’s just call them the A.H.C.O.C.G.R. / R.E.A.I.R.C. Stick with me, because you are going to see how bad government begets worse government.
What 23-1097 proposes
As a result of incessant corruption in City Hall, 23-1097 explores “establishing a permanent Office of Compliance that would proactively assist Councilmembers with identifying and avoiding potential conflicts of interest, and related matters.”
I call bull on this entire thing. Here’s why.
It disingenuously implies that politicians smart enough to get elected, and stay in office for decades, are too dumb to recognize a conflict of interest
Oh, I get it.
Napoleonic former LA City Councilmember Mitch Englander wouldn’t have gone to federal prison if he had an Office of Compliance to consult about receiving envelopes of cash in casino bathrooms.
And it would have countered his delusion that a UNLV co-ed moonlighting as a prostitute (paid by others) was simply a gal who couldn’t resist his condescending, middle-aged scrumptiousness while the wife and kids were back in LA.
Look, a boozy, sweltering Friday night on the Vegas strip can go to anyone’s head. But Mitch Englander wasn’t the kind of guy who would have paused any of it to call an Office of Compliance if one was available.
But he was smart enough to vote on City Council agenda items, right?
It won’t stop the criminally minded
Mark Ridley-Thomas, the former LA City Councilmember who boasts of a PhD in Social Ethics and Policy Analysis, was recently convicted in federal court for crimes he committed as an LA County Supervisor. He maintains the temerity to deny his crimes, as he did even when Marilyn Flynn, his co-conspirator and the former dean of USC’s social work program, testified against him.
This is a man who will go to his grave denying that the sky is blue, and someone who would not have called an Office of Compliance, either.
Bonus Point for anyone who knows that the unindicted feller at the center of this saga, his deeply troubled son, former California State Assemblymember Sebastian Ridley-Thomas, once worked in the office of City Hall’s favorite current indictee, Curren Price.
Garbage In, Garbage Out - It is redundant and as rigged as the Ethics Commission
LA already has an Ethics Commission, so a proposed Office of Compliance, would be wasteful and duplicative right off the bat. But it is being proposed by politicians who want to be seen creating something shiny and new and because they love growing bureaucracy.
But it would be just as corrupt as the Ethics Commission.
That’s because, like Ethics, it would be staffed by people nominated and confirmed by those it proposes to oversee:
former politicians
union representatives
current staffers and
even their own family members.
Like when Gil Garcetti served on the Ethics commission (including as its president) while his son, Eric Garcetti, was a Councilmember. It was such a conflict that even then-City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo — who later allegedly attempted to commit insurance fraud against the city — once investigated the senior Garcetti’s campaign contributions to his son, the future mayor.
The letter from dubious Delgadillo’s office, linked above, was written by Dave Michaelson, who is now a high-ranking legal advisor on the staff of Mayor Karen Bass.
But Michaelson didn’t stop Bass last week when she abruptly fired Eric Eisenberg, a long-time Transportation commissioner, weeks after she reappointed him, because he was honorably cautious and used wise judgment that delayed a project that Bass wanted rushed and unethically approved.
There is simply no way an Office of Compliance can function as independently as necessary.
So here’s my semi-serious plan to save City Hall millions
Immediately scrap Council File 23-1097, a malignant heap of corruption and bureaucracy, in its infancy.
I am volunteering, as I told City Council president Paul Krekorian and Councilmember Bob Blumenfield last week, to have any and all city officials dial me up 24/7, 365 days a year with any issue that they think is even remotely a conflict of interest.
I will assess every concerning issue within 5 minutes and offer an on-the-spot determination. My rule will be if it stinks, step away. If you’re not sure that it stinks, err on the side of caution and step away anyway.
My plan also includes the ultimate incentive: anyone convicted of corruption forfeits their pension.
Why isn’t pension forfeiture being explored by the A.H.C.O.C.G.R. / R.E.A.I.R.C???
Clearly, I am LA’s best man for the job
As every political follower in LA knows, I repeatedly predicted Councilmember Curren Price’s indictment more than five years before it happened. And I did it without a budget, business cards or attorneys.
Price’s City Hall enablers did nothing.
Most local media, but especially the LA Times, ran interference for him.
Most local media, except for my friends at The John and Ken Show on KFI-AM 640, The John Phillips Show with Randy Wang on 790 KABC and Sunday Morning Newsmakers with Larry Marino on 870-KRLA, each of which has generously given me opportunities to shine a bright light on politicians and government shadiness. I don’t play favorites; these shows are the vanguards against corruption in City Hall, Southern California and Sacramento.
And here’s the best part. I’ll take on this role for one of those cool Richard Riordan $1 a year salaries.
If that’s too pricey, how about naming a City Hall bathroom for me, considering all the crap I have exposed? Still too much? How about just a stall or urinal?
Get it City Hall?
This shit stinks and LA will be pissed when 23-1097 inevitably leads to more squanderous bureaucracy. So call it what it really is: the Office of Plausible Deniability. Kill it now or, in your parlance, just receive and file this motion.
I also suggest scrapping the Ethics Commission, but to take on those responsibilities, I’ll need the full bathroom, and parking.
So there.
This will spare the people of Los Angeles from another multi-million dollar boondoggle. And I am semi-serious about it.
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(Daniel Guss, MBA, is a multi-award-winning journalist. In June ‘23, he won the LA Press Club’s “Online Journalist of the Year” and “Best Activism Journalism” awards. He has been City Editor for the Mayor Sam network, and a featured contributor for CityWatchLA, KFI AM-640, iHeartMedia, 790-KABC, Cumulus Media, KCRW 89.9 FM, KRLA 870 AM, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Daily News, Los Angeles Magazine, Movieline Magazine, Emmy Magazine, Los Angeles Business Journal, Pasadena Star-News, Los Angeles Downtown News and the Los Angeles Times in its sports, opinion, entertainment and Sunday Magazine sections among other publishers.)